Tunnel Instances
by smileintears
Summary: XigDem.Pretty severe language and some violence. You have been warned. Just another plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. If you think Xigbar would be pretty awesome riding a motorcycle and busting up a few bad guys, this is for you. Give it a shot.


Yeah… um… not much to say about this…. I guess I just felt like doing some more XigDem. Yeah….. watch the language and the violence, I was in some sorta mood... damn plot bunnies...

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Including Spongebob Squarepants or anything else that seems remotely familiar!

**_ENJOY!_**

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**_Fuck._**

Yep, that pretty much summed it all up for the lone biker riding against the sea of red, orange and white that flashed by him against the highway. He shifted his cigarette back and forth between his teeth. That was the third goon he's lost this week. Xemnas was going to have his ass for this. He flipped a coarse piece of hair that had fallen out of his ponytail, coming to a red light. _**Fuckity, fuck, fuck…**_

It didn't pay to be a vigilante, no sir!

Well, aside from a couple of bounties, but that wasn't the point.

Choosing to lose himself to the road, he scratched the irritated skin beneath his eye patch and quickly sped off. He'd decided to take the long way home, just to dodge the wrath of Mansex for a while. Eh, he was already knee-deep in the shitter, he figured. What more harm could it do? The single headlight of his motorcycle flashed against the green road sign directly to his right. Three miles to the next city, Exit 312A. He smirked and pressed on forward. He knew this whole damn county like the back of his hand.

He veered onto the exit beneath the brightly lit sign, being that it was one of the only things he could clearly see. This was possibly the thing he hated most about winter- shorter daylight. Driving in the dark was probably not the best thing for a single-eyed guy like him to do, but hell, you gotta do what you gotta do. And there was no way in hell he was using a car like the rest of the guys- biking made him feel all the more badass.

He cut across the edge of the park, noticing a few small groups of late night wanderers. A couple of drunk frat boys, two people who needed to find a bed fast before they started screwing on the park bench, and even a late night health nut who was dragging her poor old dog behind her. Marking their existence briefly with a few blink and a comparison with memories of his own, he rode on, past the park's bridge tunnel. Against the sick orange glow of the tunnel's light, the shapes of two purple-black shadows were wrestling and moving against each other. **_More late-night lovers_,** he thought. But why screw in that rat hole? The car was right-

The biker skidded to a halt. His skin folded around his eye-patch as he squinted his eyes in an attempt to read the license plate better. That tattered bumper sticker looked reeeeeeeal familiar, too…

"Holy shit!" he blurted out in the open air. He revved his bike back up and sped towards the tunnel. "There's no damn way…"

Turning off the black bike, he stepped onto the dying grass. He bent down next to the cars abused rear, fingering the fresh bullet holes in the trunk's door. He smiled, revealing several gleaming wolf's teeth that had been yellowed by years of nicotine. He rose, tapping the growing ashes from the end of his cigarette into one of the many dents. Hot damn, maybe there was a God after all! This was the same getaway car the escapee had used earlier. He couldn't believe his luck.

As he began basking in the amazing feeling that one gets when their ass is decidedly taken _out_ of the sling, he sucked in another drag, noting that the forms that were moving against the wall earlier had started slowing. And were those… yelps? The first thought to enter his carnal mind was something along the lines of: _**Hey, free porn!**_ But, then he listened a little closer:

"Get off me, damn it!"

"C'mon kid, I'm celebrating. Don't let me down now,"

The gruff voice sounded like the goon from earlier. The biker licked his lips before taking a few steps toward the open tunnel. Before his boot made it over the third crack in the glistening asphalt, a ragged growl reached his ears followed by the sound of a hard smack. A chorus of "oofs" and bangs followed. The man seethed. Just what the hell was going on in there?

"I TOLD you-" _**BAM!**_ "GET-" _**SMACK!**_ "THE HELL-" _**WHAM!**_ "OFF OF ME!"

The final statement was punctuated by the blurry vision of the goon's body hitting the wall. His body bounced against the stone in recoil. After a few heavy breaths, he spat out a disgusting mix between blood and spit. Wiping his mouth, he staggered forward.

"Heheh… That was a mistake, sweetheart…" the goon slurred as his body crept out of the biker's view. Well, regardless of what the hell was going on, he wasn't going to let fortune slip from his grasp. He straightened up and casually waltzed into the tunnel.

Beneath the digusting orange glow, he saw the goon standing over another cowering figure. From what the man could see, it was young, possibly mid to early teens, to slender and lanky to be female and probably too damn cute for its own good. He also seemed to have a shiner starting. The goon tried to balance himself against the dirty stone above the boy.

_**How cute,**_ he thought. _**The little fucker can barely stand.**_

"Well well well," The biker snickered. "What do we have here?"

The goon flipped around. "What… the..?"

"What, you forgot me already?" the man "tsk"ed in disgrace. "I'm so offended!" he stepped closer with every word. "Are you telling me you don't remember your good ol' buddy Xigbar?"

The goon's stance faltered for a moment. "Where's the res' a' ya?"

"What? Oh you mean the guys? Oh, they're probably havin' a great time right now- probably using your guys as puppets…"

The goon's bloody eyebrows squeezed in rage. Feeling around his back pocket he pulled a knife before bending down and commanding the teen to get up, yanking his arm. The teen winced and struggled before he was caught in a headlock, knife to his throat. "One more step, one more shitty, little word outta your wrinkled old mouth and the kid gets it!"

The teen whined and began to struggle again. Kicking, stomping, pulling, doing whatever he could to move the goon's arm from his throat and dodge the blade. Xigbar let out another "tsk." "I shoulda' known better- never get idiots upset- they'll just do stupid shit."

The goon's blade pressed further into the teen's skin. Xigbar sighed and threw up his hands. "Alright, alright… listen; this is between you and me. Put the kid down."

The goon didn't budge.

"Just… just put him down. I got a proposition for ya."

The goon's arm released the teen, and he crumpled to the ground, scurrying back against the wall. "Alright," the goon spat. "What is it?"

Xigbar backed to the edge of the tunnel. "Okay, I'm tired from chasing your ass around all day and I just want to go home, whether I get chewed out by my boss or not. So, here's the deal- I'm going to try to stop you from getting out of this tunnel'n back to your car. If you can stop me, before I stop you, you can go free, and you'll never see my saggy ass again. A'ight?"

The goon nodded. "Fine."

Xigbar ran a finger under his eye patch again, smirking. The teen tucked his head in his arms, leaving just enough room to peak between his elbows. The one-eyed man rested a hand against his coat. "On the count of three…" he smirked. The goon squatted into a running pose.

"One…" Xigbar began the countdown. "Two… Three!"

The goon flipped his knife back open, running towards Xigbar full force with a loud primal yell. Xigbar however simply threw back the flap of his coat, producing a gun and firing directly into the goon's kneecaps with two well aimed shots. The teen buried his head further into his arms and the goon collapsed onto the dirty asphalt, whimpering to the sound of his knife clattering somewhere beside him. Xigbar knelt beside the goon's head and snickered. "Not so bad for a shitty old man, huh?"

The goon only whimpered in response. Xigbar broke into a fit of maniacal roaring laughter, cracking his gun against the goon's skull several times. Finally, the whimpering and the laughter stopped as Xigbar rose. He began to move the goon's head around beneath his boot, examining the damage. He saw the frightened teen move out of the corner of his eye, and his curiosity was piqued. "Hey kid-" he called over to the boy. The crumpled heap of a human shot a scared glance up to Xigbar. "Di'you do this?" he asked.

The teen only gulped in response, his scared eyes flitting from one body to the other. Xigbar gave a low impressed whistle. "Damn kid, you did a number on him." He gave the goon's head one last swift kick before trotting over to the teen. Halfway he paused to spit his cigarette onto the ground, crushing is beneath the sole of his boot.

"All by yourself, too-" He squatted down to eye-level with the trembling teen. "Ya know, you really don't look like you're capable of that." He snickered. The teen shuffled a little farther away from the shooter.

"I'm not a child," he muttered, wiping some of the road grit from his cheek. "I can handle myself."

"I don't know," Xigbar sucked his teeth. "How good are you with your bare hands against a blade?"

"Probably about as good as you are…" the teen spat. Xigbar laughed heartily.

"Cute kid, cute." He reached up to brush one of the strands of the boy's hair away. He really was too damn cute for his own good. The teen's eyes narrowed and smacked his hand away. "Hey, hey… Whoa kid." Xigbar continued laughing. "You got some fight in you, don't you? Relax… I'm not gonna hurt you."

The teen only huffed in response.

"You got a name, kid?" Xigbar asked. The teen was silent. "Hey," the one-eyed man lowered his gruff tone. "I asked you a question."

The teen swallowed hard and looked Xigbar straight in the eye. "Demyx." He said. "My name is Demyx."

"Demyx…" Xigbar repeated the name, letting it roll off his tongue. He stared right back at the teen. "You've got real pretty eyes, Demyx." He said, smile cutting into the scar trailing up his left cheek.

The teen now known as Demyx only blushed and stuttered. "Th…thank you… Xigbar, right?"

"Yep kid, that's me." The man rose, scratching the back of his head. "Well kid," he sighed. "You've put me in a bit of a pickle. I've got the man I came for. But now, there's what to do with you." Xigbar wiped his gun against the outside of his coat.

Demyx gulped. He dug his fingers into his knees, twitching at the pressure."So…so you're gonna kill me too, right? Just like you killed that guy?" He let out a slow exhale.

"What?" Xigbar asked, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. "No! That'd be a waste of bullets and a pretty face- not my style." He tucked the cigarettes back and pulled out a lighter, holding it to the end of the cigarette until a tiny orange dot began to glow. "You got a cell, Demyx?"

The teen began rapidly fishing for his cell phone in his jeans, praying it hadn't gotten busted up in the whole ordeal. He'd just gotten it replaced, for chrissakes! He pulled it between the fabric of his back pocket and after a quick checkup, handed it to the scarred man.

Xigbar sucked in a savory first drag and exhaled slowly. "Thanks," he said taking the teal phone that was decorated with... Spongebob Squarepants? ...You had to be kidding…

Regardless of the phone owner's lack of taste, he quickly dialed a number and waited impatiently for the other end to connect. "Hey, Axel? Yeah, it's me. Listen you are not gonna believe this- remember that guy I lost earlier? Well, guess whose lying cold under a bridge? Yeah… I'm serious! Listen, I know it's a little late for trash duty, but… You are not getting a 50% cut…. I… No- urgh… I… Fine put this under the other shitload of things I owe you. Yeah, yeah…. Take the 312A after the fifth mile marker on the highway and trace the park's left outskirts, you can't miss it. Thanks dude. Later." He pressed a rough finger against the red button on the right, turning around and tossing the phone back to Demyx. "Listen kid…" he breathed through the smoke. "There's no telling how long he's gonna be out. Help me drag him to the car." Xigbar had already grabbed the goon's feet and hoisted them around his waist. "Well," he rolled the cigarette between his lips. "What are you waiting for, Christmas?"

Demyx hopped and pulled his sleeves over his hands, grabbing the goon's wrists and holding them as far out from himself as possible. His stomach was clenching in disgust. There was still blood trickling out of the corner of the man's mouth!

Once they'd reached the car, Xigbar dropped the man's feet, causing Demyx to falter at the sudden weight change. Stepping back a bit, he swiftly raised one leg and threw it against the car's driver's seat window. After a small crack crawled up the glass, he raised his leg and kicked the glass a second time. And a third. And a fourth. By the umpteenth time, he reached into his coat, pulling out his gun and whacking the handle against the glass. Finally, it shattered across the seats the grass, and Xigbar's boots. Shaking off the shards half-heartedly, he reached inside and pulled the lock open. Yanking the handle, he picked the goon's legs back up and began feeding him into the car. After the goon lay listlessly across the glass-scattered upholstery, he reached in and pulled the keys out of the ignition. "Safety precaution," he sneered, jingling them in Demyx's face before sticking them into his pocket. "We don't want him going anywhere else."

Demyx watched as the scarred man reached behind his neck, pulling the mass of black and white hair loose from its pony tail to reach around waist length. Damn… and he thought _his_ hair was weird. He shyly fingered his sleeves as the one eyed man strattled his motorcycle. He looked up quickly, meeting the teen's stare and causing him to blush for the second time that night. He raised his eyebrow as his lips pulled into a half-smile. "Well, what is it this time, New Year's?"

"What?"

"What do you mean what? You're coming with me, pretty eyes."

"But… but I don't-"

"Ah! I'm not letting you walk around here like that- you're even more of a target than before. Besides, I've just slain the dragon, now I get to ride off into the sunset with my princess," He patted the backseat of his bike.

Demyx gave him a deadpan look. "It's the middle of the night, Lancelot."

"You know what I mean, smartass, now c'mon." He pointed a finger in warning. "Don't make me come over there!" he stuck out his bottom lip and lowered his brow in the most comical idea of a reprimanding face.

Demyx snickered and sprinted over to the waiting bike. Though he was scared, he was entranced. Throwing one leg over the side of the leather and metal, he latched onto Xigbar's waist. "Good, you know what to do," The elder man said revving the bike back to life.

"Oh" he casually turned around to the teen behind him. "I almost forgot something-" he spoke above the motor's roar. "The hero needs a kiss."

"What?" Demyx yelled against the loudness under him.

"I saved your ass; I get a kiss, right?" Xigbar raised his brow at the boy.

Demyx pulled his lips to the side of his face and rolled his eyes in brief contemplation before pressing them against Xigbar's. It honestly shocked the man that the kid would actually do it.

But hey, if he could beat down a guy at least a foot taller and about twenty pounds heavier…

They pulled apart with a wet smack, sending Demyx into a sly giggle fit. Xigbar planted another quick one on him before turning back around. "Thanks," he yelled back over his shoulder to the teen who was now burying his face into Xigbar's back. "Now, hold on tight!"


End file.
